An absolute gem

It was a just another trip for me. The plane landed on the bangalore international airport. I braced myself for the 50 kms drive to my house. And it was 7 in the evening. With the kind of traffic in bangalore during peak hours I knew I was in for a "long journey". I normally take the bus since cabs cost a bomb but this time I landed a good deal with a share cab.

There were two other guys inside the cab both of whom were getting down before me. The driver came in after ten minutes, started the car, gave his agent his commission and took off in a split second. He was a thin frail looking man, maybe in his late twenties, with his teeth badly stained because of ghutka consumption. It was a quiet journey for the first forty minutes except for intermittent calls on the front seat passenger's phone. He spoke loudly about models, films, theatres and the likes. I kept looking outside the window lost in my own thoughts about my life. After an hour when the calls finally stopped the driver asked the passenger in kannada "What sir, you talk about films and actors all the time?". The passenger then explained that he was a casting director and that hes done a lot of big movies in the south and a few new ones in hindi too. He started naming a few hit movies and asked the driver if he had seen them. Both of them then started talking about various Kannada movies. The other guy was in the navy and had come for a medical check up. Both the guys got down after an hour's journey and then it was just me and the driver.

We had half an hour of drive more and I wanted to get some distraction to not feel the heat. I asked the driver which languages he spoke. He said he was a kannadigan but could speak broken hindi and tamil. So I spoke in hindi and started the conversation by asking him how many years he had been a driver. The answer was 3 years. He did not wait for me to ask the next question. He got into a pensive mood. He immediately said repentantly that he is driver because he didn't study. He was from a village called gulbarga where children were not encouraged to study even though there are schools. The girls were married off by the age of ten. "The Police comes and creates problems but still girls are married off behind their backs" He said in broken Hindi. His own sister was married at the age of 12. "The parents just want to continue the relationship" He said disapprovingly.

I told him how things weren't very different in the cities. I shared with him the problems I faced in my house with respect to marriage. "What is your name, Madam?" He enquired. His name was Parusharaman. He told me about the driving business he was in, the commission he paid, the number of trips he made everyday and that he was looking for bride for his marriage. "I try not to work on Sundays but if I get a call from a known customer I go". We finally reached my destination. While I was taking out the cab fare, I told him not to make the same mistakes his parents made and told him to send his children to school since education was the most important thing in one's life. He nodded as if it was obvious. He then wrote down his number in the receipt and said that I can ask for help anytime. He dropped my luggage at the gate and said a one last sentence, for the first and the last time in English with me "It was nice meeting you madam"

That one sentence put a big smile in my face, bigger than any smile I had given to a stranger yet. His innocence, candidness, realization, self respect despite his current condition, comfort, helping nature and his peppy way of talking, not cribbing even once made me experience one of the best rides with a stranger in my life. He was an absolute gem and I sometimes wonder why such admirable features cannot be found in the richest and the most educated in our country. People come in all shapes and sizes and its just the most comforting feeling to see someone be something just the way humans are supposed to be.

Atheism strikes back!!!

I have always been a 'proud' atheist until recently. I am still an atheist but not sure if I am still 'proud' about it. Yes I am indeed proud about that fact that I am a 'Rationalist' but unfortunately atheism has more cons than pros these days. Anyway before I starting rambling about it let me give you some background information.

I was born in a typical south Indian orthodox god fearing family. As a kid like every other kid I grew up worshipping god without questioning why my parents did so. I am not sure if I used to think a lot but I remember questioning the rituals in temples at a very early age. As far as I can remember I decided to turn into an Atheist inside a temple. Slowly in my teenage years I started questioning everything - the tradition we follow, society practices, beliefs, etc etc. I felt great. I felt enlightened in the non-spiritual sense. I started looking down upon those who held those beliefs. I started looking for logic in just about everything. It worked perfectly fine for a while but least did I know that this thing I was proud of would eventually turn into a liability.

People may have blind faith on various things like a god idol, a certain traditional practice, a lucky charm, a talisman or anything for that sake. But what they get in return is the confidence, the peace of mind, the reassurance, the will to take more challenge, the concentration, the discipline and a direction in life. It gives them the strength to face the world and a "Purpose" to live. What does an atheist do for all those? Who should he turn to when he needs that comfort to move on from his depression? How is he supposed to get that feeling of stability? How is he supposed to get that peace of mind? Should "Purpose of Life" make any sense to him at all? In all who should he turn to when the tiniest ray of hope inside him fades into darkness?

I am slowly realizing that life is much tougher to live without a blind faith. An atheist has to deal with loneliness and hopelessness at some point in his life when he just feels like drowning and desperately tries to reach out to something to hold on to. He tries to hold on to logic but alas logic only tells him what can possibly happen based on probabilities and refuses to tell him what he would like to hear. Logic is ruthless unlike 'God'. Logic is no friend of ours. Logic doesn't hold our hands in times of need. Logic is a never dying evil. It will not let the atheist hold on to God because it will keep telling him that God doesn't exist. Now this is where the worst part in an atheist's life comes - when logic tells him that his logic is going to be of no help and this very same logic is going to hold him back from reaching out to God.

Life either seems to be in a dead end or a vicious circle. Oh how much would I love to feel secure just by holding on to a talisman. How I wish I never grew up continuing to believe in fairy tales. If only 'Living' was that easy. But nevertheless I am still a proud 'Rationalist'. I will continue this never ending quest called life no matter how difficult it gets. Someday if I ever meet 'God' I will thank him for making me the way I am. :)

The Awesome-st phase of my life yet

The third phase of my life... One of the top colleges in India... Very apprehensive but with a lot of dreams... my first ever hostel experience.... awesome campus... my own room.. finally.. that too with a balcony... my first management class.... Financial accounting... swiping card for attendance... induction week.... soft ragging.... First ever group study... lasting for a week.... intense competition..... quizzes and exams
every other week.... relative grading.... late night studies.... late evening tutorials.... quizzes on sundays... few awesome profs... lots terrible ones... mess food.... ultra short vacations.... a huge circus called placements..... resume submission..... feeling abysmal for not being from the IITs or the NITs.... envying those who were....first ever L^2 party.... getting bored within the second one .....se

ction parties... summer placements.... resume submissions....bragging about things you never did..... stressful days... consulting internship ..... first ever internship ... first ever consulting experience.... talking to people at a h

igh level... lots and lots of presentations... quick 30 minute presentations... so-called networking.. realized I was never that sorts..... Second year.... electives.... course bidding..... Finance and strategy courses... Globe globe everywhere...

.... falling in love.... making a great friend.... gymming ... giving up within a week because of exams every fortnight.... class participation .... never opening my mouth... stupid courses.... fraud courses.... Tam gang... struggling with tamil... but enjoying nonetheless.... lonely walks in the middle of the night.... clubs... club selections.... CCS projects... exchange... europe trip... awesome-st trip ever.... final placements..... big pain in the a***..... DC.... free movies and series downloads.... watching

a complete series in a day..... room

with the ground view.... rumours.... night canteen...... running the rat race..... going to bed worrying about the competition every other night..... getting philosophical..... lots and lots of introspection.... getting ready to face the world the way it will be........ Finally the convocation

And thus ended my 2 years of MBA in the Indian Institute of

Management Bangalore with all the ups and downs possible in the shortest period of time. So much in so little time. Here you just don't learn the management stuff but you also learn lessons about life. The independence I enjoyed for 2 years in this place is something I will never ever get in my life. However tough it was you will be missed IIMB.