A Vacation I missed

Couldnt resist writing this after reading four enormous blogs written by a friend of mine about his trip to a small placid place called Kihim. (Wonderful article perfectly written with hell lotta pics and GRE words in it...:-) ) For him the vacation trip was a 'home away from home' but for me it was a 'home still in my home'.... if you didnt get any of these you need to know my story..

Its a tradition in our college to go for an industrial visit after the 5th semester exams. Not any ordinary IV but a trip which ranges from 2 days to 7 days...(mind you...its just called Industrial visit for namesake..actually its anything but an Industrial visit...)

My class started deciding for the IV ever since the beginning of that sem. We had a poll on which place to go for the IV... 95% voted for GOA.. (Goa???..Industrial visit??? Industries in Goa??? huh!!!!! ..If beaches and bars were considered as industries..Then Goa could be an ideal choice for the IV..)..The other 5% voted for places like Kerala, Bangalore and Hyderabad. But obvious GOA was made final...

Having never gone for such a trip with my friends before..I desperately wanted to go.. Getting permission from my parents was not a problem at all... Naveen took responsibility and arranged the whole trip for us.. On the last day of the sem he came to all of us individually and asked whether we were coming for the trip... I waited for my chance to say 'Yes'... but before I could do that Mehul came and told me that no one from their group (yes...we have groups in our class) would be going because they (lets name them the 'first benchers') thought they cant have fun with the p-k group (A group which stays away from our group both physically and socially) as it would be better if we plan our own trip and not go to goa with them.... I stood there speechless not knowing what to do.. I thought for a minute and actually felt that mehul was right.. I never liked that p-k group too... but wait a second... my other friends (lets name them the 'last benchers') are going too.. so what do I do???

Not knowing whether to say yes or no.. I asked Vishy.. He couldnt come up with a possible solution... I gave another thought about it and decided to say 'No'...( A decision which I still regret).. The 'last benchers' came to know about that and few of them took the pain to call me up and tried to force me to change my decision.... I didnt want them know that I wasnt coming because I would be going to some other place with the 'first benchers'..That would be pure treachery... So I lied.. I told them that I had to go to my native place with my parents ( this wasnt a complete lie..though...I indeed had such plans.. but that was way after the trip...they never coincided).. They stopped pestering me after that...

The exams started and I buried myself into big engineering books...Even after all that tension I couldnt help dreaming about the trip I would be going after the exams... ( We will do this ...We will do that...) I inserted conversations about the trip when I called up my friends on the pretext of asking doubts.. I tried giving ideas of places where we could go... This showed how excited I was... I couldnt wait for my exams to get over... Nothing could go wrong... NOTHING..

Days flew by..(not so easily though) and the last exam came... Got screwed up big time.. I made myself calm down after knowing that everyone else screwed up too... and then as usual after the last exam we went to a restaurant to eat something... The 'last benchers' went to a place called ghatkopar and the 'first benchers' went to chembur.. I decided to go with the first benchers.. On the way I got a call from Kinnar asking me to come to ghatkopar.. As usual I made up something and didnt go.. (Lying became an integral part of my life)..In the restaurant, after everyone was done with the imprecating of paper setter..we started the topic of our trip...

Aditya suddenly turned his head..looked at me and said "Hey..you cant come....Its an 'All Boys Trip'" Those three words made my heart sink...(What do you mean 'All Boys Trip'???? I didnt give up the Goa trip for nothing!!) I sat there speechless, not out of happiness but out of confusion... I didnt know what to say..I could have started an affray..an irrefragable argument... but I didnt..There was no point... Good bye..beaches..Good bye.. beach resort.. Good bye..Wine (Yes..I was planning to taste wine)...and Good bye..Vacation...

Even after that I didnt give up...(May be it was only Adi's crazy idea...may be others didnt feel the way Adi did)..I waited for someone to call me up and ask me to come to the trip with them... I ended up just waiting... and sitting at home watching everyone else go on trip to scintillating places.. And to make things worse..Kuresh and Kinnar who went to Goa kept messaging me about the marvelous time they were having there and Vishy who went to Kihim called me up one day even before I woke up and started telling me what terrific time they had the day before on the beach... I could do nothing but sit on my bed incapacitated, listening to them having the time of their life..... There was nothing I could do...NOTHING

This was indeed a vacation I missed or should I say 'messed'..
Moral of the story:- ........ (Is there one???)

Gem in Junk

Most of times I ignore the numerous forwards that fill in my inbox like bullets from all directions... courtesy :- The unlimited storage space of my gmail account... But just yesterday I read this amazing forward and felt as if it was a gem in the junk..

This forward would have made Nelson Mandela proud of what he did to this world..It goes something like this...

When I am born, I am black
When I grow, I am black
When I blush, I am black
When I am cold, I am black
When I am sick, I am black
When I die, I am still black

BUT
When you are born, you are pink
When you grow, you are white
When you blush, you are red
When you are cold, you are blue
When you are sick, you are green
When you die, you are grey

AND YOU CALL ME COLOURED!!!!!

MADvertisements

We all know that Advertisements have become an integral part of our lives... Listen to the radio ..you hear Ads.. Watch television..you see Ads... Go to a theatre..you see Ads.. Read a newspaper.. you see Ads.. In short their bottomline is "Wherever you go, Our Advertisements follow" (which incidently is similar to a catchline of a telecom company Ad..)

Try watching a 2 hours movie on the television and you'll end up sitting infront of the idiot box for 4 hours... courtesy:-The numerous Advertisements... Try watching a 30 min soap opera.. you will end up watching 20 min of advertisements and 10 min of program in between..

Well..Ads are meant to implement a newfangled product in the market... and to show the various uses of it... Earlier they were good and nice.. but now-a days they are...er....indiscernible.. They just dont make sense.. Consider this..

A guy goes into a company for an interview... He sits through the interview confidently.. He comes out of the room with a smirk on his face.. And in the end he finds out that the job is swept away by some other nerd who is not even qualified enough.. Totally shocked he asks the MD of the company..
"Dont you think this is unfair?? That guy is not even qualified.. I deserve this job.."
For this the MD replies.."Agreed.... you are more qualified than him... but look at his shirt.. Its white as heaven... and look at yours... did you ever wash it?"
HUH!!!!!
"Look at my shirt... Thats why I am the MD of this company"
(Thank you Mr.MD..I wont forget to bring my white kurtas instead of my certificates from next time).
They indeed try to make our life easier... If a glass of milk or food made from a particular oil can make me the topper of my class and a pinch of salt can make me a pilot.. why the heck should I break my head.......Life would be heaven then..

Some people prefer to go for far-famed personalities to be the brand ambassadors for their products.. One obvious example would be our own Mr.Big B.. He has starred in various commercials for products like Cars, Banks, Chocolates, Chavanprash, Pain relief balm, washing powders, soft drinks, hajmola and even hair oils (so desperate huh!!!) Now I know the reasons that caused his stomach infection:
Not enough Chavanprash
Too much soft drinks
Not enough Hajmola
Worms in the chocolates (Beware Mr.B)

Some commecials start with a song and end with one.. Finally you end up either wondering what the whole Ad was about or humming the tune for the rest of the day... Some commercials even has a 'To be continued..' in the end.. Some are cute and some are funny.. Our shampoo commercials have more graphics than that used for movies like "The Jurrassic Park" or "The Star Wars"..
One of my best Ads is that of 'San frasisco Jeans' where a guy refuses to go to heaven just because he didnt want to get off those jeans and wear white instead..Was kinda cool..haha...The following commercials were voted as the best Ads of the year 2005..
Toyota Innova 'Aamir Khan'
Surf Excel 'Daag achche hain'
Bajaj Avenger 'I feel Like God'
Coca Cola 'Piyo Sar Utha Ke'



Advertising has become one of the nascent industries which is becoming more and more popular day by day... May it be a piece on the radio or a full version on the TV or just a banner on the highway... each one is different and creative in its own term.. It can make you laugh, cry, relish, cogitate or just snub off..... Life without advertisements can be equally bad and good..

TELESPEAK-Help or Trouble??

Just read an article on problems caused by Telespeak... Having gone through this telespeak thing for 100 times over the past few days .... I decided to write something on it...

Now a days 95% of all helplines and customer care services start with a computerised voice.. "To continue with english please dial 1..Hindi ke liye do dabaye (for hindi dial 2)" Certainly nice to know that they are trying to break the language barrier here... Then comes a few more options and finally you to get to hear "To speak to the customer care executive please dial 9" and then the ringing starts.. you heave a sigh of relief...Instead of hearing a person's voice you hear "You are in the queue position 14.. Your call is important to us... please be on a hold"..Oh my gosh ..
Was that the executive?? Since when did the executive turn into a computer...lol...and if our call was so important they must have installed more number of phones to avoid the so called 'Queues'... They play one of their advertisements to hmmm..entertain us..Am I getting entertained??..I dont think so.. The Queue position goes on decreasing as you desperately wait for the executive to speak up 12..10..9..8.........4..2.....tring ..tring..."Hello...This is the blah blah helpline center..may I help you?"
..Duh..I know its the blah blah helpline centre..Thats precisely why I called you... So can you tell me _____________? You wont believe I waited for so long just to hear.."I am sorry ma'am..I am quite not familiar with that offer...Please leave your phone number..I'll get to you as soon as I get the details..Thank you for calling and have a nice day"...#"£$%^&#..I just wasted my precious 10minutes of my life..and you expect me to have a nice day..lol..(But to be honest..this has just happened once..I usually get the answers I am looking for)

Leaving all this apart.. at some point in your life you should feel thankful that these computers have replaced those office secretaries..Try calling someone in a company... Obviously you first need to cross the hurdle of the secretaries to reach him..

About nine of every ten secretaries will repond "Sorry, he is not in his seat "
Well..Where is he then? under the table? Inside the closet? behind the couch? Where???

Another option for the earlier one is more dramatic.."He's gone"
Oh my god....Its terrible..When did this happen? and HOW? You almost feel like sending a condolence message and as you begin to commiserate you realise he has only gone out of the office...Duh!!!!

Another favourite is "He has left"
I am so sorry to hear that..What happened??? An affray with his boss???
'Left' can mean left for lunch, left for the day, left the company, left the country....Take your pick???

A very common telespeak torture is from the office operator who moves you directly from the ringing to music..tring tring....hmmmmmmm..la la la trum ra ra rum...and finally you get a hello just before you dose off to sleep..
Yeah..is this the blah blah company?
"Yes"
Ok...er..Can I speak to the MD?
"Hold"
(Hold What?? lady)
Back comes the music ..followed by a second voice "Hello!!"
Is that the MD's office?
Yes
Well..Can I speak to him?
"He's out"
Out?? Out of what..money?, patience? or just the office..lol

hehe Trust me.....These things can be funny, confusing and troublesome all at the same time..