Saying "I dont know" helps

My vivas got over today, it was the last viva of my engineering career. Man, what a joke it is. Its the same thing every year. The college gets over a few days before the vivas. Students buy books, get mass-xeroxs on the last day of college and start studying one day before the viva. They flood the corridor outisde the viva lab and wait for the first batch of students to come out after their viva and ask for reviews. The reviews range from "Arey external sahi cool banda hai" to "Abbe sala kholke maar raha hai".

Over the past four years Ive learnt that there are three kinds of people. Firstly there are people who are god-sent techies, true engineers. Second come those who are not techies but somehow manage to read 5 reference books inside out and say things like "Arey that answer is in the 3rd para of page 384 of that ref book". Thirdly we have people who dont study a thing and dont give a damn too. The external can also be of two types: one who asks direct questions from the book and second who asks random "general" questions which you will never find in the books you read. These 5 types of students and profs can make some interesting combinations. If the prof is asking direct questions, the first and the second kinds get away while the third gets screwed. If the prof asks "general questions" only the first kind (sometimes even the third) survives.

I certainly dont come under the first category. I am partly second(say 40%) partly third(60%). If the prof asks very direct basic questions i am saved but if high funda techinal ones are asked I am screwed. One bad thing about me, I never say "I dont know". Ill put in my maximum creativity and come up with my own invented answer. This can be good or bad depending on the prof. Some profs appreciate your creativity but some "jealous ones" dont.

Recently I tried creating my own solution for a link breakage problem in a ring topology network in an IEEE 802.5 LAN and the external says with a smirk on her face "you are just throwing things, its a technical subject, dont guess". I felt like throwing things at her..literally. Why dont they encourage creativity? So what if the answer is absurd. Every scientist's first try was absurd. This way I end up getting less than my partner who never opens his mouth. I guess someone has truly said: "Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish". From now on ill try my best to say "I dont know" rather than babbling some stuff and save my creativity for other things like painting or this blog. Now I ask myself the question "Will I stop babbling crap?" I would say "I dont know":) (I do learn but dont change so easily)

P.S
May 17th, 1310 hours;

I just finished studying that chapter of LANs from two different reference books and I found out that my "creative" answer to that linkage problem is very much possible (acc to the book Leon Garcia). And all I get for this creativity is some stupid criticism.. #$%£$*

Just another furore

This is probably the 4th or the 5th time I am writing a post criticising India for raising public furore for silly matters. Burning effigies and shouting slogans have become everyday news here in India. The furore over India losing the world cup has not yet got over that poeple are out with a new one. Sometimes I wonder if there are people employed just for such protests. I think there are. Dont people have better things to do? dont they have a job? Dont they have other things to worry about?

India seemed to have made just another public national enemy. An Indian court has issued arrest warrants for Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty after he kissed her on the cheek at a public event to promote Aids awareness. This incident has now been termed as “highly sexually erotic” and “transgressed all limits of vulgarity”. If people here care so much about our Indian culture why do we celebrate Valentines day when it has nothing to do with our tradition. If this incident can be termed as vulgar you should probably take a stroll around Marine drive and Band stand in Mumbai. You should also see all those stupid lip-munching scenes in our hindi movies. You can get a better meaning for the word vulgar.

Richard Gere is now condemned to death. So much for getting involved with charities which look after HIV-infected people and orphans as well as other AIDS prevention groups in the country. According to me the actor certainly shouldnt have done any of that 'kissing' but creating such protests over that seem very silly speacially after he apologised. Our Indian lady didnt seem to have any problem with that too. And the media too should concentrate more on the actual news rather than spreading grapevines (My god I dont know what the news channels turned into during the abhi-ash wedding).

college in one post

Out of heaven a.k.a colony .....travelling .......'399'.....Bhakti bhavan......."Wheres the entrance to the college?"...... no more uniforms..........trying to look my best the first day.......just to find boys shake hands with babes wearing low-waist jeans:)........fifth floor.......... lift not
allowed for students.........Chalega, excercise ho jayega (thinking-What the "$#£).........lectures (read sleeptime).......... aiming the 8:20 bus........... catching the 8:55 bus instead.........reaching just in time for the second lecture (sometimes the third)..........defaulter .........assignments..........'chapofying' some random text written in timbuktu...........practicals ............ bathroo
m sized labs ..........losing new pens............stealing other's new pens .........term tests......."What!!we have a test today??" .......friends.........timepass .........PJs (poor jokes)........10:30 break....... tiffin boxes........ hundreds of 'em......... ambrosia .........canteen .......endless laughter ......birthdays .......... contri gifts .......treat ..........travelling 3 hours for a 1 hour treat..........realizing how much I hated
travelling ........ 26th july........5 hours walk in rain through floods.........trekking..........yogi hills........ matheran ........overnight stay....... night outs .........mobile phones...... sms forwards ..........non-veg(not food) ........finding that one special friend finallly........talking for hours on the phone .......on topics ranging from Iraq war to alien invasion........ online chatting........
birthday again......in search of a perfect gift ........calls at 3am on the day of exam........really great time....... some stupid misunderstandings....... crap.........killing the friendship in the process.........'moving on'.........orkut........ vivas........"I am not very sure sir" ........ still getting 20 out of 25....... final
exams........classes notes mass xerox ....... phekhna..........rumours of exams results already out.........fests........CAT........ flash cards.........only 5 boxes ........presentations ...........on the spot preparation .........impromtu speech....... project ........project group's day out.......... a great team ........ some ups.......lots downs .......lots more lessons learnt ........vodka......late night parties........ cocaine...... :)jus kidding

WHERE ELSE BUT COLLEGE... Do I have to say I am gonna miss it...

(the last three... Even I AM not into those things:) )

Fans or Fanatics???

I am not much into cricket but I am certainly aware of the drama that plays around it. SriLanka thrashed India down by 69 runs and knocked it out of the World cup tournament in the first stage itself. Our dependence on Bermuda for getting a back door entry to the second stage just tells us how hopeless our team's performance has become. This has turned the lives of our players upside down. Earlier, they were the super heros; now they are looked upon as criminals. Earlier, they were busy going around endorsing all types of products; now they dread to step into their own country. Earlier, policemen were deployed outside the homes of players to keep the adoring fans out; now, the policemen are there to protect the players from violent attacks by those same fans.

When a small kid can underperform in his final exams because of the pressure put on him by his parents, how can you expect our players to perform well in the matches with the whole of nation continously looking over them with highly expectant eyes. I dont understand why we Indians view the cricket matches as a battle between nations and not as just a sport. Why are we worried more about the world cup than the innumerable other problems we are facing as a nation?

Is it becuase we all are hopeless optimists who are just ready to mistake dreams for reality? Or may be we all are just gullible; gullible and naive enough to become prey to marketers and advertisers. You certainly know about many of Pepsi's very famous campaigns like 'The Blue Billion', 'Oooh Aaah India, Aaah Yaa India' and 'Men In Blue'. This hopeless optimism is nothing but the creation of advertisers who well took advantage of our gullibility to promote their products even those as small as biscuits and hairoils. I totally fail to understand why someone would buy a certain hairoil just because shewag endorsed it even with almost no hair in his head. And whats with this whole "Buy this shampoo and go on a date with John abraham" thingy? Why would I want to have a dinner with a total stranger?

I guess our players deserve this humiliation for trying to earn some quick bucks by endorsing so many products and appearing in so many ads promising the dream of world cup even after knowing that they are just average players. Sadly Consumers are stupid enough to buy products endorsed by sportstars and filmstars. Our Indian cricket team may have failed the worldcup but we Indians failed as a nation by being so naive ,petty minded and childish.

no point doing...

Things I see no point doing and wonder why the others do it...

1. Travelling all the way from one country to another just to get baked under the sun in a cricket stadium from where the players dont look any better than a bunch of ants, when you can sit in your house coolly and watch the match with your friends and family on a big flat screen TV getting to see the slow-motions from all possible angles.

2. Driving all the way to and from your gym when jogging that same way to and from your gym might help you burn more calories than you would inside the gym.

3. Working out (jogging or walking) on a treadmill for 1 hour when you can always jog or walk around your neighbourhood for free for any amount of time. I've always wondered...Why do people make use of electricity to rotate the belt in the treadmill for burning calories when they can instead burn those same calories to rotate the belt and generate electricity?

4. Travelling from your place to a big temple in another state and standing in an endless queue just to get a glimpse of the god's idol when god is everywhere (even inside you) and all you need is some peace of mind and a pure heart with strong conviction to pray.

5. Going to a music concert and standing 4 km away from the stage not even getting enough area of ground to stand on and enough volume of air to breathe when you can rather throw a party with loudspeakers blaring those same songs on your backyard and dance your heart out.

6. Buying a music cd of 10 songs costing more than 300 bucks when you can download those same 10 songs from the internet and burn it into a cd and print out the front and back covers and add it to your music collection.

7. Buying a 200-page book for 500 bucks from crossword when you can get the same book from the streets of VT for less than 70 bucks. (Who gives a damn about piracy..)

8. Going to Essel world and sitting on the most chilling roller coaster ride when you can sit on the back-seat of a rickety public transportation bus and ride through the roads of Mumbai.

The Painting...

Finally a painting after such a long time. This vacation while I was rummaging through my study table, I found my water-color cakes I won as a prize when I was 8 years old. I couldnt resist giving my painting skills a try. I was painting again after 6 years. Well... The painting of the boy isnt entirely mine. I took the picture from one of my childhood's short-stories book. The rest is photoshop. The poem on the right is the one I wrote a long time back called "Is there a way out?" and the pictures on the left were taken from the net.

I would like to thank my neighbour aunty for lending me her painitng brush (she let me keep it too). I would also like to thank a very good friend of mine Mayuresh for scanning the picture for me. :)
(Click on the pic to enlarge it)

The Racism Within

Celebrity Big Brother moved from being a just another TV entertainment to an international race debate. Indian actress Shilpa Shetty won the British reality TV show after enduring alleged racial bullying that sparked off a nation-wide furore. Ever since that she has been branded as an international anti-rascism icon. Apparently this is not something new. You probably know about the recent Arcelor-Mittal merger, where the very idea of racism aroused a strong feeling of hatred and anger towards the West. Undoubtedly we Indians are the biggest targets of racism in the world. For a country that lived through more than a 100 years under the "White's rule", we have always considered ourselves as victims. However, when it comes to racial discrimination, knowingly or unknowingly we Indians are big hypocrites.

Our idea of racism is a well defined color code. White is superior and beautiful while Black is inferior and not even close to beautiful hence undesirable. Just look at our fairness creams ads and matrimonial ads in our newspaper and youll know just how obssessed we are with the skin color. Dont stay black or else youll remain unmarried and jobless, instead use our whitening cream, turn fair in a week and boys and jobs both will come begging to you, so claims our fairness products' ads. Try spotting one famous black model or actress in India and see how terribly you fail. Recent reports that immigrants from Africa were being denied housing clearly shows our attitude towards color.

Color apart, racism in India can also be discussed in the context of caste discrimination. Caste discrimination is very much alive even so many years after its abolition. The many recent horrifying stories on the injustices done to the dalits across the country by the so-called upper class people justifies the point. Not to forget the religion and language barrier. The Madrasis dont get along with the Punjabis and a hindu getting into a mosque or a church is considered as a blasphemy. Its even more shocking to see young people, the so-called future generation of India practice racism and castism. Its really disheartening to see some of my own friends join online communities like the brahmin community or the mullus or gujjus community.

Why dare to stand up as one nation when we cant see our own compatriots with equal eyes? Why is it that we are developing on all grounds but yet refusing to grow out of underlying social malpractices? Are we really developing without morality?

Race against time

Clockstoppers, Back to the future, Star trek, Kate and Leopold, Minority Report, The Terminator. The idea of travelling forward into the future or back into the past has always fascinated science fiction writers. It certainly had fascinated me when I read the novel "The Time machine" a very long time back. Who wouldnt get fascinated? Wouldnt it be cool to be able to go back to the past and prevent some terrible mistake from happenning and also be able to travel to the future and see whether you really succeed in winning the person you had a crush on (Instead of depending on crystal balls or tarot cards)? Time travelling is still an unsolved problem in physics. But amazingly, some weirdness of the quantum world now suggest that time travel is possible - at least in theory.

People have been suggesting ideas for time travel since centuries, but it was Albert Einsten who laid the foundation for the theoretical possibility of time travel with his theory of Special relativity. But first lets define "Time". There is no particular defination for time (you'll probably just look at your watch when someone says 'time') but Time has been designated as the fourth dimension of our universe, the first three being length, breadth and height (space that is). According to Einstein's theory of special relativity, time slows as an object approaches the speed of light. This has been observed in real life too. A high precision watch was sent on a space shuttle and when it came back it was back by fraction of a second. if one were to move away from the Earth at really very high velocities and return, more time would have passed on Earth than for the traveler. In this sense it is accepted that relativity allows "travel into the future". But the problem lies here. It is almost impossible to travel at a speed anywhere even close to the speed of light.

Lets consider you are in a race. During the race you discover a hidden shortcut. You take the shortcut without anyone noticing it. so you reach the finish line earlier than the others but because the others dont know about it, you win. Similarly there has to be a way to fool the universe, some kind of a shortcut to make you look as if you are travelling really fast. Physicist Kip Thorne believes that there could be some type of tunnel-like structure existing in the universe that could be used as a time travel portal. This tunnel-like structure is called a wormhole.
You know what a Black-hole is. Black holes have a huge gravitational pull that nothing can escape from them, not even light. The centre of a black hole is an infinitely dense point, called a singularity, where the laws of Physics no longer apply. Einstein's equations prove that such a singularity doesn't just end in a single point, but creates a tunnel that goes right through and opens out on the other side. Now this other side is somewhere else in spacetime, either in the future or in the past. Such a tunnel is called a wormhole. Unfortunately these things are still a hypothesis and there is absolutely no evidence. But you never know.

No matter what, problems will continue to exist like the very famous 'grandfather paradox'. What if you went back in time and prevented your grandfather from meeting your grandmother so that your mother was never born? Then you would never have been born... and so on. And also the 'Parallel universe' paradox. How can see yourself in the future or past when you are travelling? How can you split yourself? You cannot travel and not travel at the same time. But like I said you never know. Man has been able to invent things which once could be seen only on Dexter's Labroratory. Man has been able to prove my most favourite law of Physics - "Matter can neither be created nor destroyed" wrong (You probably know about Anti-matter). Anyway, Ladies and Gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts, I bet we are not far from days where we would enter into a Time-machine or a Teleportation-machine (Desperately waiting for this one. Eh! how much I hate travelling).

The Ultimate justice

The year 2006 ended with a rather gruesome spectacle of Saddam's execution shown in the news almost 24-7. Saddam may have lost his life now. But he died the day he was caught (Dec 13'03) by the US forces, hiding in a small hole, dirt smeared face, umkempt hair, vulnerable like a beleaguered cat. Was this the same man who waged a decade-long war against Iran? Was this the same man who killed over 5000 Kurds using chemical weapons? Invaded Kuwait? Killed 148 Shias? Was this the same brutal dictator who once ruled the Middle east?

It all ended the day he was brought to US as a trophy of an overhasty, catastrophic and mindless war. Why the need of such a ruinous war against Iraq in the first place? According to the US it was because Saddam was an evil dictator who violated the human rights, violated UN resolutions, had weapons of mass destruction and had ties with Al Queda. True but not all. Yeah he indeed was an evil dictator, violated human rights, caused a genocide. He deserves this punishment. But If Saddam had been evil since the beginning why did the US continue supporting him, giving him intelligence information and military equipment after he used poison gas against Iraqis collaborating with Iran and hailed him as a great leader until 1990? On Nov 2002, Saddam allowed UN weapon experts back into Iraq. If Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, why hasnt the US found them yet? If he indeed had weapons why didnt he use them when he was attacked by the US? Leaving all this apart , does it make any sense to sacrifice over 3000 US soldiers and over 30000 Iraqis just to catch a single person? You dont need to be a humanitarian to say no. I now see no difference between what Saddam did and what US is doing now. Anyway, a beast is a beast and it should be brutally killed for all the brutal killings it did.

Surprisingly India condemned Saddam's execution calling it unfortunate. Unfortunate? A brutal tyrant was killed for all the atrocities he committed. I see nothing "Unfortunate" in that. But they say that it will just sharpen the already worse Shia-Sunni divide in Iraq. Theres a point. But wasnt Saddam the one who killed Shias and deepened the civil conflict between the Shias and Sunnis. Avenging him for that is kindof justified.The Vatican denounced the execution as "tragic," Kuwaitis and Iranians celebrated the death of the dictator who led wars against each of them. Reactions to Saddam's death were varied. While some strongly supported the execution, others condemned it. Some, however wished to see him brought to trial for his other actions alleged to have resulted in a much greater number of deaths than those he was convicted for. Isnt " The Ultimate justice" supposed to be "Unanimous"?

The subway guy

He sits in the busiest subway in town
His fingers move incessantly over the
musical holes of his precious flute
as if they have a life of their own

I notice he is wearing a vintage coat
May be to look his most presentable
May be to protect himself from the cold breeze
He seems lost in his own world of music

The flute succumbs to his touch
The magic unfurls as the music flows
caressing and comforting our lonely hearts
opening our eyes to the love still alive

Someone drops a token of appreciation
He never asks for it though
It tries to break the musical rhythm
But yet he goes on without a falter

He acknowledges our applause
with silent words that get lost in the crowd
I walk away humming the melody played
in this orchestra by the subway guy.

bell the kitten instead

Those who gave CAT this year might have understood why I used KITTEN in place of CAT. I've always had a profound respect towards the IIT and IIM entrance tests. They are among the very few exams in this world which are "tough" and which can really "filter" out the best-top-geniuses from other ordinary people. CAT is supposed to be known for its very tough Quantitative and Data Interpretation sections but this year's Quant and Reasoning were shockingly simple. Any person who has a decent IQ (and is not stupid enough to assume that CAT papers are always error-free and doesnt end up wasting time on a question with wrong options) could have cleared the cut-off. The verbal section was hard.. weird rather. Heres a question from the verbal section. We were supposed to select the most appropriate concluding sentence:

In the evolving world order, the comparative advantage of the United states lies in its military force. Diplomacy and international law have always been regarded as annoying encumbrances, unless they can be used to advantage against an enemy. Every active player in world affairs profess to seek only peace and to prefer negotiation to voilence and coercion. However,

(1)diplomacy has often been used as a mask by nations which intended to use force.
(2)when the veil is lifted, we commonly see that diplomacy is used as a disguise for the rule of force.
(3)history has shown that many of these nations do not practice what they profess.
(4)history tells us that peace is professed by those who intend to use voilence.
(5)when unmasked such nations reveal a penchant for the rule of force.

Lets analyze the options seperately. In the 2nd option its said that diplomacy is often used as a mask by nations which mean to use force. Wait a second, but isnt that the 1st option and the 5th option as well. Lets see what the top coaching classes have got to say on this. According to IMS and TIME the answer is 2. According to Career laucher its 1 and according to Career forum its 3. Only god knows what the actual answers is (and the IIM paper setters too). This time CAT is not going to select the best ones but only the good ones who also got lucky. In all it was a total disappointment.

Analyzing dreams

"Dreams are but interludes that fancy makes...
Sometimes forgotten things, long cast behind
Rush forward in the brain, and come to mind."

-John Dryden

Enter the mystifying but yet fascinating world of dreams where the rules of reality do not apply. Some say dreams are just wishes our heart makes while some say dreams are postcards from our subconscious, inner self to outer self. According to Sigmund Freud dreams are an interaction between the unconscious and the conscious where the unconscious is the dominant force.

I've been a sound sleeper since my childhood and am still one. Nothing in this world can or rather has been able to (till now) affect my everyday sleep. So does that mean I am a "sound dreamer" too?. I dont know. One of the earliest memories of my dreams I have is of being chased by tigers and sharks. They werent exactly scary but trust me, you dont wanna know about it. Dreams I see now-a-days are more... say.. sensible, unrealistic yet sensible (atleast I no longer fight with sharks).

Sometimes I jump out of a tall building and start flying, gliding rather. Sometimes I fall onto the ground and actually feel the impact too. I once dreamt of myself sleeping and having a dream (weird!!).And once I was IN the game counter-strike (Ah! that was cool). 80% of the nights I dont dream at all. Actually 80% of the mornings I dont recall the dream I had the previous night. Its good in a way. Its good to wake up with a blank mind considering that you are going to spend the next 15 hours with some or the other thing invading your mind. But Sigmund Freud says otherwise. According to him dreams shouldnt be ignored, rejected or even suppressed but should be "accepted in its own right - not broken down and analysed out of existence".

Just a few weeks back I had this dream in which I was drowning. It was dark and cold. The freezing water kept pulling me inside. I was trying hard to fight against the stormy waves. I remember someone giving me a hand and pulling me out of the water. According to a dream interpreter drowning signifies being overwhelmed by emotions or repressed issues that is coming back to haunt you. ok..ya I do have issues. Small, normal, everyday issues, but they dont exactly "haunt" me. Yet this whole dream interpreting thing is worth a shot. But the more you brood over it the more complicated and philosophical it gets. I am happy with just the thrill of it (the dreams I mean). Its not everyday that you get to wake up with a chill going down your spine.

Heres a piece of information that might come helpful. According to a certain Dream Interpreter If you dream of eating frogs then you will find very little to gain in current relationships and associated love affairs. Whereever did he get the idea from??

Priceless Delights

Playing your Playstation on your flatscreen TV- Rs.1,20,000
Playing Hide-and-Seek with your cousins on a sunday afternoon- Priceless

Dominos Pizza with extra cheese and topping- Rs.205
Thayeer sadam(curd rice) with Appalam made by your grandma- Priceless

Going for a new horror flick to a famous Mulitiplex- Rs.300
Listening to your friend narrating a ghost story on your night-out- Priceless

Buying an international brand T-shirt in a big shopping complex- Rs.850
Bargaining with a street vendor for a so-claimed branded T-shirt- Priceless

A box of fresh ripe alphoso Mangoes- Rs.350
Climbing the mango tree in your school playground and eating the mangoes with your friends there itself- Priceless

One full-day trip to Water-Kingdom theme park- Rs.1200
Walking in heavy rain and getting completely drenched- Priceless

Joining a sports complex for playing a game every weekend- Rs.650/month
Playing football with your friends on the neighbourhood swampy ground- Priceless

Going for trekking taking an official tour guide with you and staying in a 3-star hotel- Rs.4500
Going for a trekking unplanned, getting lost in the woods and spending the night in a remote farmhouse garage- Priceless

Indeed...
There ARE many things that money can't buy...

My Music collection

First of all the statistics... My E: drive has a capacity of 17.7 GB out of with 13.9 GB (excluding the 6.2 GB songs I lost due to a malicious virus attack) is filled with music, music and only music (Courtesy - My Bro). Of the 13.9 GB, Rock Songs (Including Nu-metal, Heavy metal, alternative rock etc etc) constitutes 7.91 GB , Pop comes to 2.86 GB and Hindi and Tamil songs takes up 1.11 GB. The rest has Rap, Trance, Soundtracks and Theme songs. Thats one heck of a collection according to me. So I decided to make my own Music collection. I spent one full day sorting out the collection and burning my favourites into CDs and designing CD covers. Here are a few of the CD covers that I designed....

That's the way the cookie crumbles...

I flip the faded pages of my life
I see my memories play like a film without sound
An enigmatic smile escapes my face
Yeah! Life is indeed very strange

How beautiful was the time of youth
Full of passion and desire, yet unwilling to mature
when fantasies could make me fly and
even the smallest hug could allay my fears

Evening walks, Linkin Park and topicless discussions
took over Crayon scribblings, cartoons and swings.
Desperate housewives replaced The little mermaid
and Chocolates are no longer ambrosia but poison-made


Why can't I rely on falling stars to take away my worries?
Why do I have to fret when life turns left instead of right?
Why do I have to wear a mask and hide away my pain?
Why has life become a game, where you either lose or win?

The hazy future ahead keeps daunting me
If only that same hug could drive away my fears
If only I could turn back the hands of time
I guess... Thats the way the cookie crumbles.

Friends... Till the very end

At a time when I thought Mumbai was
no place for a shy girl like me
You proved it wrong by
being the nicest friend to me
I thank god for the day I met you
for I realized how lucky I got to be

When I turn back the pages
of my small book called life
I see how we enjoyed our walks in the rain
despite all that storm and strife
I see how you made my cake of life
get sweeter and sweeter slice by slice

It was the artist in you
which brought colours to my pages
It was the generous supporter in you
which gave me hope and saved me from the damages
It is the pure and tender heart in you
which I know will keep us together for ages

Thank you for teaching me
the definition of a true friend
People like you are very rare to find for
I know you are one whom only god can send
You've always been the special side of me
and will always be till the very end.

(I dedicate this poem to a very special friend of mine - Neeta)

10 things I wanna do before I die...

1. Own a huge black monstrous SUV, probably a land cruiser and take it for a loooooong drive on a rainy day and also drive it inside a dense forest..( will remember to keep the money ready for the repairs.. :-))

2. Go to Europe every year for a month's vacation and visit every place from Valencia in Spain to Venice in Italy to Vienna in Austria.

3. Spend one full day lying on a deserted Hawaii beach listening to my mp3 player, reading a book and sipping wine.

4. Climb the tallest snow mountain in this world....sorry.. got too excited... a small moutain with snowy peak will do.

5. Buy original CDs of all the latest hit movie releases and watch them on my home-theatre system sitting on a Dual-Arm Dual-Incliner and never go to a cinema hall.

6. Get married the christian way.. ( I am a Hindu btw... hope my parents are not reading this..)

7. Learn the most beautiful language...French thoroughly and also buy a few fake French paintings.

8. Do something Illegally atleast once in my lifetime.. (no no.. I dont wanna go to jail... I heard they stink..)

9. Quit my job on a monday morning.. ( Assuming I have enough money to do all the above things.. yeah enough money to get myself out of jail too in case I get caught..;-).. )

10. Keep making lists of the next 10 things I would wanna do before I die...

Iron maiden - a 30 year old beast

Well..I am not a great fan of Iron maiden or anything.. but I somehow feel that their lyrics are very strong and profound.. something you wont hear these days...

Iron Maiden is an English heavy metal band from London, formed in 1976 by Steve Harris. It is one of the most successful and influential bands in the heavy metal genre, selling over 70 million albums world-wide. The name of the band came to Steve Harris whilst watching a movie adaptation of "The Man in the Iron Mask", named for the medival torture device. Iron Maiden has achieved international fame with its distinctive style. Their blend of heavy metal, highly melodic riffs, and intelligent lyrics has become instantly recognizable. The band is also renowned for their down-to-earth and genuine approach towards their music, their impressive energetic stage shows and their openness with fans.

Below given is the lyrics for a song called Invader from the album 'The Number of the Beast' (1982). This album was a world-wide success providing definitive songs such as "The Number of the Beast", "Run to the Hills" and "Hallowed by thy name", considered by many to be some of the best metal songs ever written.

(Source- Wikipedia)

INVADERS

Longboats have been sighted the evidence of war has begun
Many Nordic fighting men their swords and shields all gleam in the sun
Call to arms defend yourselves get ready to stand and fight for your lives
Judgement day has come around so be prepared don't run stand your ground

They're coming in from the sea
they've come the enemy
beneath the blazing sun
the battle has to be won
Invaders ... Pillaging
Invaders ... Looting

Set ablaze the campfires alert the other men from inland
Warning must be given there's not enough men here for a stand
The Vikings are too many too powerful to take on our own
We must have reinforcements we cannot fight this battle alone

They're coming over the hill
they've come to attack
they're coming in for the kill
there's no turning back
Invaders ... Fighting
Invaders ... Marauding

Axes grind and maces clash as wounded fighters fall to the ground
Severed limbs and fatal woundings bloody corpses lay all around

The smell of death and burning flesh the battle weary light to the end

The Saxons have been overpowered victims of the mighty Norsemen

You'd better scatter and run
the battle's lost and not won
you'd better get away
to fight another day
Invaders ... Raping
Invaders ... Plundering

Reincarnation - a short story

"I bet it’s a girl" Sumeet said hazily staring at the sky.
Smitha smiled as she removed the packed eatables one by one from the picnic basket.

Smitha was three-months pregnant with their baby. Sumeet had decided to take a break from his work and go for a picnic with his wife for a day or two. They chose a serene place with a river which was around 6 hour drive from their house. On a bright sunny day they packed a few stuffs hurriedly, hopped inside the car, turned on the music and drove to the place they had been planning since the past one week.

“What do you think we should name her?” Sumeet asked still staring at the sky.
“I thought about it one day. If it’s a boy, we will name him Sujit and if it’s a girl, we will name her Kiran. Sweet and simple. Isn’t it?” Smitha replied.
“I know. We will name her Nayana, meaning eyes, because she’ll have beautiful eyes like you have.” He turned sideways and looked at Smitha straight into her eyes. For a moment he felt as if he saw the whole world in her eyes.

Just before dusk, everything suddenly became dark. The sky got completely covered by black clouds. It was totally unexpected. Sumeet had checked the forecast that day. The papers had never mentioned any possible showers.
“When has the newspaper ever been right about the weather” she said with a told-you-so look on her face.
“But- But the monsoons not until 3 weeks from now. This must be one of those pre-monsoon showers as they call it.”
“I don’t know what they call it. All I know is that we now need to wind up and head back to the city.” She said as she started packing the uneaten foods back into the basket.

After they were done stuffing everything into the car, he started driving back to the city. It started raining very heavily. The wipers tried hard but couldn’t make much of a difference. The headlights were dim too. And all he could hear was the sound of trees ruffling against each other in the rain. He drove fast so that they could reach home as soon as possible. After 2 hours he felt thirsty, so he turned back to take the water-bottle from the basket.
Smitha suddenly screamed, “Sumeet, Truck..NO”.
Even before he could make some sense out of it, he heard a loud noise and a very bright flash like he had never seen or heard before. Few minutes later he was lying there on the ground trying hard to move but couldn’t. After some time he heard something which sounded like sirens. He closed his eyes and collapsed.

Sumeet opened his eyes and found himself in an emergency ward. He started recollecting everything one by one. The picnic, dark clouds, rain, a scream, bright flash. He remembered all. The doctor entered the room.
“Hello Mr.Sumeet, How are you feeling now?” The doctor enquired.
“Whereas my wife? Her names Smitha. Where is she?”
“I am really sorry Mr.Sumeet but we couldn’t save her. It was too late. I am sorry”
He lay there on his bed the same way he was lying near the river on their picnic. The only difference was he was staring at the blank ceiling this time and not the sky. Tears trickled down his cheeks.

“I am Dr.Kapil, Is there anything that I can do for you?” the doctor asked.
“I don’t want her to die, doctor”
“Mr.Sumeet..huh…But..”
“Doctor, I want to donate her eyes and other organs. Can I do that?” he said firmly.
“You surely can Mr.Sumeet” the doctor replied.

Weeks passed by and the monsoons finally arrived. Smitha was right. The newspapers were always wrong with their forecasts. One rainy day he stayed at home from work because he was down with flu. Reluctantly he got up and went to the hospital. As he waited in the hospital outside the doctor’s room, he saw a small pretty girl pass by. The girl looked at him and gave him a beatific smile. There was something in her that made Sumeet wonder. Dr. Kapil was passing by and saw Sumeet standing.
“Hello Mr.Sumeet, What brings you here?”
Kapil caught him staring at that small girl.
“Do you know her?”
Sumeet nodded.
“Well..you should, In fact you have the right to know about her. She is six years old and she was born blind. But now she can see the world through your wife’s eyes. Smitha’s eyes were given to her.”
Sumeet couldn’t believe his ears. He knew it. He knew that some part of Smitha would still be alive.

He drove back home and somehow he felt very happy that day. Next morning he took the teddy bear he had once bought for their unborn child, hopped into his car and drove to the hospital. He asked Dr.Kapil and went to that girl’s room. As he entered her room he saw her staring at the rain hitting against the window glass. Something she was seeing for the first time.
“Hi, I am Sumeet, I have a present for you”
The girl turned, “Aren’t you the uncle I saw yesterday?”
“Yes I am” and smiled.
He kept the teddy bear beside her and asked, “Whats your name dear?”
“Naina”.

Books and Life

I am not a big philosophical books fan or anything. In fact i dont like anything that is philosophical. I am a typical 'sheldon' or 'grisham' type books reader. I used to think only murder and conspiracy stories make up novels.

But just a few days back an uncle of mine gave me some of his books to read. There were a couple of Massimo Manfredis (one who wrote the Alexander trilogy), a couple of Richard Bachs (totally philosophical), The present by Spencer Johnson (the author of Who moved my cheese) and another couple of Autobiographies. The first thought that came to my mind after I saw the books was-- Are these really novels?? I read a few paras from each book to get an idea of what it is. Though philosophical or historical, they did look like stories. So I decided to give it a try. I took a thinnest book of it all. That was Jonathan Livingston seagull by Richard Bach.

In that book the reader is first introduced to Jonathan Livingston Seagull, one of many gulls belonging to some kinda gull colony where the gulls spend their time fighting for scraps of food and bread. Jonathan Seagull, instead of fighting and stealing food from human boats like all the others, spends his time practicing to fly, something he is really interested in. He doesn't understand the practicality of such monotonous day-to-day activities. Rather, he attempts to perfect his flying abilities. Eventually he becomes the first gull to reach terminal velocity at 214 miles/hour. The other gulls kick him out of the colony and makes him an outcast. He still decides to live alone and go on with his dream of flying the first aerobatics of any seagull on earth.

Well.. Though different people may take different messages from this book, the story is pretty simple and clear.Here are a few lines from the book which actually made me think about my own life--

--"How much more there is now to living! Instead of our drab slogging forth and back to the fishing boats, there's a reason to live! We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, We can be free! We can learn to fly!"
--"You can go to any place and to any time that you wish to go," the Elder said. "I've gone everywhere and every place I can think of." He looked across the sea. "It's strange. The gulls who scorn perfection for the sake of travel go nowhere, slowly. Those who put aside travel for the sake of perfection go anywhere, instantly.”

Am I too not one of those ordinary seagulls which doesnt bother about flying but thinks only of food. I think I am. After all I am just one among those millions of students who go to some god-forsaken college, spend their time travelling to and from college and reading magazines during lectures, slogging one day before the exam and finally pretend to be satisfied with the marks. Thats what I've been doing since the last 17 years. And if all ends well I might just end up getting into some typical job and enter the next stage in my life filled with drudgery. I know that there are myriad other options that I can go with but I also know that I will leave all those when I get a chance. Now I have turned into one of those losers who do nothing but whine all day thinking about the way their life is going.

Well.. Having learnt a lot from this book, I was almost about to change the way I used to think about philosophical books until I read the latter half of the book. Here are some lines from it—

--"We can start working with time if you wish," Chiang said, "till you can fly the past and the future. And then you will be ready to begin the most difficult, the most powerful, the most fun of all. You will be ready to begin to fly up and know the meaning of kindness and of love."
--"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You don't love hatred and evil, of course. You have to practise and see the real gull, the good in everyone of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love. It's fun, when you get the knack of it.”

DUH!! What the heck was he thinking?? Well.. I take my words back. I am indeed better off with books with mysteries and conspiracies. But I now know that there is much more in a novel than just murders and detectives and beautiful heroines. I've also learnt that there is a lot to discover in both: books and life.