An absolute gem

It was a just another trip for me. The plane landed on the bangalore international airport. I braced myself for the 50 kms drive to my house. And it was 7 in the evening. With the kind of traffic in bangalore during peak hours I knew I was in for a "long journey". I normally take the bus since cabs cost a bomb but this time I landed a good deal with a share cab.

There were two other guys inside the cab both of whom were getting down before me. The driver came in after ten minutes, started the car, gave his agent his commission and took off in a split second. He was a thin frail looking man, maybe in his late twenties, with his teeth badly stained because of ghutka consumption. It was a quiet journey for the first forty minutes except for intermittent calls on the front seat passenger's phone. He spoke loudly about models, films, theatres and the likes. I kept looking outside the window lost in my own thoughts about my life. After an hour when the calls finally stopped the driver asked the passenger in kannada "What sir, you talk about films and actors all the time?". The passenger then explained that he was a casting director and that hes done a lot of big movies in the south and a few new ones in hindi too. He started naming a few hit movies and asked the driver if he had seen them. Both of them then started talking about various Kannada movies. The other guy was in the navy and had come for a medical check up. Both the guys got down after an hour's journey and then it was just me and the driver.

We had half an hour of drive more and I wanted to get some distraction to not feel the heat. I asked the driver which languages he spoke. He said he was a kannadigan but could speak broken hindi and tamil. So I spoke in hindi and started the conversation by asking him how many years he had been a driver. The answer was 3 years. He did not wait for me to ask the next question. He got into a pensive mood. He immediately said repentantly that he is driver because he didn't study. He was from a village called gulbarga where children were not encouraged to study even though there are schools. The girls were married off by the age of ten. "The Police comes and creates problems but still girls are married off behind their backs" He said in broken Hindi. His own sister was married at the age of 12. "The parents just want to continue the relationship" He said disapprovingly.

I told him how things weren't very different in the cities. I shared with him the problems I faced in my house with respect to marriage. "What is your name, Madam?" He enquired. His name was Parusharaman. He told me about the driving business he was in, the commission he paid, the number of trips he made everyday and that he was looking for bride for his marriage. "I try not to work on Sundays but if I get a call from a known customer I go". We finally reached my destination. While I was taking out the cab fare, I told him not to make the same mistakes his parents made and told him to send his children to school since education was the most important thing in one's life. He nodded as if it was obvious. He then wrote down his number in the receipt and said that I can ask for help anytime. He dropped my luggage at the gate and said a one last sentence, for the first and the last time in English with me "It was nice meeting you madam"

That one sentence put a big smile in my face, bigger than any smile I had given to a stranger yet. His innocence, candidness, realization, self respect despite his current condition, comfort, helping nature and his peppy way of talking, not cribbing even once made me experience one of the best rides with a stranger in my life. He was an absolute gem and I sometimes wonder why such admirable features cannot be found in the richest and the most educated in our country. People come in all shapes and sizes and its just the most comforting feeling to see someone be something just the way humans are supposed to be.

Atheism strikes back!!!

I have always been a 'proud' atheist until recently. I am still an atheist but not sure if I am still 'proud' about it. Yes I am indeed proud about that fact that I am a 'Rationalist' but unfortunately atheism has more cons than pros these days. Anyway before I starting rambling about it let me give you some background information.

I was born in a typical south Indian orthodox god fearing family. As a kid like every other kid I grew up worshipping god without questioning why my parents did so. I am not sure if I used to think a lot but I remember questioning the rituals in temples at a very early age. As far as I can remember I decided to turn into an Atheist inside a temple. Slowly in my teenage years I started questioning everything - the tradition we follow, society practices, beliefs, etc etc. I felt great. I felt enlightened in the non-spiritual sense. I started looking down upon those who held those beliefs. I started looking for logic in just about everything. It worked perfectly fine for a while but least did I know that this thing I was proud of would eventually turn into a liability.

People may have blind faith on various things like a god idol, a certain traditional practice, a lucky charm, a talisman or anything for that sake. But what they get in return is the confidence, the peace of mind, the reassurance, the will to take more challenge, the concentration, the discipline and a direction in life. It gives them the strength to face the world and a "Purpose" to live. What does an atheist do for all those? Who should he turn to when he needs that comfort to move on from his depression? How is he supposed to get that feeling of stability? How is he supposed to get that peace of mind? Should "Purpose of Life" make any sense to him at all? In all who should he turn to when the tiniest ray of hope inside him fades into darkness?

I am slowly realizing that life is much tougher to live without a blind faith. An atheist has to deal with loneliness and hopelessness at some point in his life when he just feels like drowning and desperately tries to reach out to something to hold on to. He tries to hold on to logic but alas logic only tells him what can possibly happen based on probabilities and refuses to tell him what he would like to hear. Logic is ruthless unlike 'God'. Logic is no friend of ours. Logic doesn't hold our hands in times of need. Logic is a never dying evil. It will not let the atheist hold on to God because it will keep telling him that God doesn't exist. Now this is where the worst part in an atheist's life comes - when logic tells him that his logic is going to be of no help and this very same logic is going to hold him back from reaching out to God.

Life either seems to be in a dead end or a vicious circle. Oh how much would I love to feel secure just by holding on to a talisman. How I wish I never grew up continuing to believe in fairy tales. If only 'Living' was that easy. But nevertheless I am still a proud 'Rationalist'. I will continue this never ending quest called life no matter how difficult it gets. Someday if I ever meet 'God' I will thank him for making me the way I am. :)

The Awesome-st phase of my life yet

The third phase of my life... One of the top colleges in India... Very apprehensive but with a lot of dreams... my first ever hostel experience.... awesome campus... my own room.. finally.. that too with a balcony... my first management class.... Financial accounting... swiping card for attendance... induction week.... soft ragging.... First ever group study... lasting for a week.... intense competition..... quizzes and exams
every other week.... relative grading.... late night studies.... late evening tutorials.... quizzes on sundays... few awesome profs... lots terrible ones... mess food.... ultra short vacations.... a huge circus called placements..... resume submission..... feeling abysmal for not being from the IITs or the NITs.... envying those who were....first ever L^2 party.... getting bored within the second one .....se

ction parties... summer placements.... resume submissions....bragging about things you never did..... stressful days... consulting internship ..... first ever internship ... first ever consulting experience.... talking to people at a h

igh level... lots and lots of presentations... quick 30 minute presentations... so-called networking.. realized I was never that sorts..... Second year.... electives.... course bidding..... Finance and strategy courses... Globe globe everywhere...

.... falling in love.... making a great friend.... gymming ... giving up within a week because of exams every fortnight.... class participation .... never opening my mouth... stupid courses.... fraud courses.... Tam gang... struggling with tamil... but enjoying nonetheless.... lonely walks in the middle of the night.... clubs... club selections.... CCS projects... exchange... europe trip... awesome-st trip ever.... final placements..... big pain in the a***..... DC.... free movies and series downloads.... watching

a complete series in a day..... room

with the ground view.... rumours.... night canteen...... running the rat race..... going to bed worrying about the competition every other night..... getting philosophical..... lots and lots of introspection.... getting ready to face the world the way it will be........ Finally the convocation

And thus ended my 2 years of MBA in the Indian Institute of

Management Bangalore with all the ups and downs possible in the shortest period of time. So much in so little time. Here you just don't learn the management stuff but you also learn lessons about life. The independence I enjoyed for 2 years in this place is something I will never ever get in my life. However tough it was you will be missed IIMB.

A whole new life!!

Whats happening in my life? A lot!!

I have been living in a whole new world the past one year. This one year has made me miss every phase of my life I went through - my carefree childhood phase to my first independent adulthood phase. How has my life changed? Here it goes:

1. I am living in a hostel (a co-ed one;) ) for the first time in life. I finally have my own awesome room with no one to interfere. This is the life I always wanted considering the kind of anti-social person I am.

2. There is always something to study at any point in a term. Your sleep hours become so calculated that one wasted hour of sleeping can make you feel guilty for the rest of the day. Trust me it does.

3. I have become philosophical after coming here. I am still an atheist but I am exploring nonetheless. I don't know how much of those philosophical stuff is true but it does help you deal with tough situations.

4. I have realized that the cut throat competition can be killing only if you want it to be. But no matter how much you know about the truth, you will still go to bed everyday worrying about the competition.

5. There is no right time to do things here. I can now take bath at 11 at night, eat Maggi at 4 in the morning, wash my clothes at 5 in the morning, play tennis at 2 in the morning, take a nap at 7 in the evening or rather any point in a day.

6. I get to meet big celebrities throughout the year. From the smallest Vega Tamotia to Gul Panag to Shobha de to Rajat Sharma to the biggest Arun Shourie. I got to watch the Indian Ocean Concert which was at distance of around 10 mtrs from my balcony.

7. My To-do list will always have at least 5 things yet to be done at any point of time.

8. I easily lose track of days in a week. Somehow weekends don't feel any different from weekdays no matter how desperately I want them to be. There are quizzes and exams even on Sunday evenings.

9. I spend not more than 5 hours at a max per month outside the campus. Rest of the time you don't even get to see or hear anything from the outside world.

10. Watching a movie or reading a novel or even writing a blog is a luxury which you have to fight for by compromising something else for it.

Despite all these... I am absolutely loving it ;)

Yet another phase of life ends

Independent life..... Pune..... first job...... first salary...... learning how to do the job which had no relation to what I learned for 4 years..... projects...... meetings in swanky rooms...... talking to firangis...... deciding which tag to put the bank code in and acting as if that might resolve the Israel-Palestinian issue....... professional clothes....... going back to jeans and flip flops after a month...... free tea and coffee and soup and hot chocolate....... chatting more on Sametime than working....... annual appraisals...... gossip...... bitching about managers ........ getting frustrated.......... "Thats it, I am done. I am getting a new job" .......... back to counting the number of days left for the long service award.......... staying away from parents........ paying rents......... paying electricity bill for the first time in life....... Room mates......... laughing over really stupid jokes.......... trying first with just a bottle of breezer......... feeling nothing but still laughing as if we drank a bottle of vodka......... sharing.......... learning to cook.......... giving up after few days........ getting used to unhygienic food......... surviving on Maggi........ coming home late at night without the phone ringing every 30 min starting 830......... expensive salons....... dinner at posh expensive restaurants....... cocktails.......... screwdriver....... long island iced tea...... going to malls.......... finally not window shopping....... still waiting for end of season sales........ late night parties......... studying just to get out of IT...... cluesless about life....... long trips to beaches on bikes and cars......... grass..... cocaine...... shots......

Ok.. I was kidding about the last three again. But I have noticed that the level of things I kid about every time gets higher and higher. The three things I joked about in the end of the post I wrote about college life, two out of those three have been checked. So I cant guarantee about the current last three things too. ;)

My life so far (An autobiography poem)

In the international year of peace, 1986
along the Coromandel Coast in the tropics
in a small town with nuclear power plants
when the morning was way beyond dawn
as dark as the dusk, I was born

I grew up a shy kid, always alone
and lazy, but very active in my fantasy zone
sticking only to my imaginary friends
My parents tried hard to change me, only vainly
when I cried my way out of Lower KG

My giving up the next year made my parents glad
and I realized that real friends werent all that bad
The school let me directly go for Upper KG
even though I was as dumb as a donkey
never could I figure out why 4 25 paise coins made 1 rupee

I changed from a donkey to well.. not a donkey
As my grades started improving slowly
My parents then thought me fit for other parts
put me in dancing and music for the starts
even then my heart went out only for arts

After continuously dreaming of becoming a doctor
I went for Comps after the biology terms made me shudder
C++ and VB were something I adored
My love for coding was why my marks soared
and made me the college topper in HSC board

Why I took telecomm later, still escapes me
While designing filters, I could feel myself choking
The microelectronics diode would get me gasping
With the equations of EM wave from an optical fiber
I could feel my brain cells committing suicide

The superhero IT came to my rescue as well
Taught me Cobol, Db2, Cics, Vsam and Jcl
In the beginning coding for a bank did seem cool
but something felt amiss which I had to retool
I knew the only place where I could do that was a B-School

From not knowing how 4 25 paise coins made 1 rupee
to wanting to take decisions affecting the economy
only the next few years can tell,
If I can make this world a better place to live in
For both you and me

I guess you can clearly see my desperate attempts to make the lines rhyme and also that I had given up in the last stanza. ;). Making the lines rhyme in a poem is just not my thing.

Smoke 'em out

Now that I have resigned from my job, I feel as if I can interchange the number of hours I work and the number of hours I spend on breaks. These days I just get up and go out with anyone for a break. A few days back I went out with a colleague of mine (who smokes like 8 cigarettes a day and also looks like one) to the most happening place around my office i.e the Tapri. Tapri is a small shop placed at a point outside the office which sells Tea, Biscuits and Cigarettes. The shop usually consists of only a small table with all the above stuff and a small chair for the shopkeeper to sit and a huge umbrella to provide shade depending on the climate and the shopkeeper here normally ends up earning much more than the professionals who go there to smoke. You will find more number of people standing around the tapri than in a CCD or a McDs. I really wouldnt be surprised to see those tapris listed in NSE (Ramesh Tea stall (RMTS ^ 230.34)). Anyway, I digress. At any point of time during office hours you can find atleast 10-15 people standing around the table, smoking. Though this is a sad plight, there is nothing that can be done (or should be done) to stop these people from smoking their lungs away. Why? We'll come to that later in some other post.

If the government really intended to reduce tobacco consumption in India, then it could have simply banned all tobacco products the way its with drugs like cocaine. But yes, it wouldnt do that. There are around 120 million smokers in India and is home to 12% of the world’s smokers. As of 2006 India earned Rs 1,362 crore as foreign exchange and Rs 7,200 crore as excise revenue through tobacco. Exports have risen by about 67 per cent in rupee terms to Rs 3,383 crore in 2008-09. The tobacco industry provides employment to 4.5 million people. Why would the govt ban it completely? But then why doesnt the govt do the following too?:

1. Increase tobacco taxation - Studies suggest that Raising cigarette taxes to Rs 3691 from existing Rs 659 per 1000 sticks would increase tax revenues by over Rs 146 billion and prevent 3.4 million deaths in current and future cigarette smokers. Raising bidi taxes to Rs 98 per 1000 sticks would raise over Rs 36.9 billion in tax revenues and prevent 15.5 million deaths in current and future bidi smokers. When I told my colleague about this, he said he wouldnt stop smoking even if the price increased but he would start working harder to earn more money to be able to afford the dearer cigarettes. Calculations show that even very substantial cigarette tax increases will still reduce consumption and increase tax revenues. This is in part because the proportionate reduction in demand does not match the proportionate size of the tax increase, since addicted consumers respond relatively slowly to price rises. This is good in both ways because people who quit, quit for the better and those who dont, just end up working harder in turn generating more GDP for our country. The only concern would be of the low income groups (who form the highest percentage in tobacco consumers) resorting to illegal ways like robbery or smuggling to get their share of dope.

2. Lift FDI Ban on Cigarette manufacturing - “Manufacturing of cigars, cheroots, cigarillos and cigarettes, of tobacco or of tobacco substitutes” have been put under the list of sectors where FDI is prohibited. Agreed this is a good measure to curtail smoking but why let go of the benefits of FDI (hence more revenue and more employment) in our country when you can limit the cigarettes manufactured by them to be sold only outside India. Not worrying about the health of others outside India is not morally right but we have bigger issues here.

3. Improve the conditions of rural workers - It has been found that the tobacco industry exploits its workers by not paying them minimum wages and employing children among its labour force. Bidi companies pay very low wages, as low as Rs.23 per 1,000 bidis rolled, in certain parts of India. Hence, this work is mostly done by women and children. The govt should step in and ban them from hiring children and divert the work to other rural villages and ensure they get more wages and improve their standard of living.

4. Take advantage of Tapris outside companies - Considering there are 120 million smokers in India and considering each smoke atleast 5 in a day and knowing for a fact that the tapri guys earn more than the professionals who come to smoke, we can allow one "tapri" to be legally setup by an unemployed person (as the investment required for setting it up is negligible) for every 120 people who smoke, we can create some source of livelihood for around 1 million people.

Sorry for acting so MBA-ish. Now that I have gotten into a B-school, feels good to act as if I am trying to make this world a better place to live in. :)