TELESPEAK-Help or Trouble??

Just read an article on problems caused by Telespeak... Having gone through this telespeak thing for 100 times over the past few days .... I decided to write something on it...

Now a days 95% of all helplines and customer care services start with a computerised voice.. "To continue with english please dial 1..Hindi ke liye do dabaye (for hindi dial 2)" Certainly nice to know that they are trying to break the language barrier here... Then comes a few more options and finally you to get to hear "To speak to the customer care executive please dial 9" and then the ringing starts.. you heave a sigh of relief...Instead of hearing a person's voice you hear "You are in the queue position 14.. Your call is important to us... please be on a hold"..Oh my gosh ..
Was that the executive?? Since when did the executive turn into a computer...lol...and if our call was so important they must have installed more number of phones to avoid the so called 'Queues'... They play one of their advertisements to hmmm..entertain us..Am I getting entertained??..I dont think so.. The Queue position goes on decreasing as you desperately wait for the executive to speak up 12..10..9..8.........4..2.....tring ..tring..."Hello...This is the blah blah helpline center..may I help you?"
..Duh..I know its the blah blah helpline centre..Thats precisely why I called you... So can you tell me _____________? You wont believe I waited for so long just to hear.."I am sorry ma'am..I am quite not familiar with that offer...Please leave your phone number..I'll get to you as soon as I get the details..Thank you for calling and have a nice day"...#"£$%^&#..I just wasted my precious 10minutes of my life..and you expect me to have a nice day..lol..(But to be honest..this has just happened once..I usually get the answers I am looking for)

Leaving all this apart.. at some point in your life you should feel thankful that these computers have replaced those office secretaries..Try calling someone in a company... Obviously you first need to cross the hurdle of the secretaries to reach him..

About nine of every ten secretaries will repond "Sorry, he is not in his seat "
Well..Where is he then? under the table? Inside the closet? behind the couch? Where???

Another option for the earlier one is more dramatic.."He's gone"
Oh my god....Its terrible..When did this happen? and HOW? You almost feel like sending a condolence message and as you begin to commiserate you realise he has only gone out of the office...Duh!!!!

Another favourite is "He has left"
I am so sorry to hear that..What happened??? An affray with his boss???
'Left' can mean left for lunch, left for the day, left the company, left the country....Take your pick???

A very common telespeak torture is from the office operator who moves you directly from the ringing to music..tring tring....hmmmmmmm..la la la trum ra ra rum...and finally you get a hello just before you dose off to sleep..
Yeah..is this the blah blah company?
"Yes"
Ok...er..Can I speak to the MD?
"Hold"
(Hold What?? lady)
Back comes the music ..followed by a second voice "Hello!!"
Is that the MD's office?
Yes
Well..Can I speak to him?
"He's out"
Out?? Out of what..money?, patience? or just the office..lol

hehe Trust me.....These things can be funny, confusing and troublesome all at the same time..